This morning I woke up at 4 am and had a song playing in my head. It was so clear and real, it sounded like I was listening to the radio. I hadn’t heard the song since I was 24 and had just had surgery. I found the song on a CD I checked out from the library, and it was so inspiring to me then, I would play it as loud as I could handle when everyone was out of the house. I clung to the lyrics, hoping that this surgery was my second chance at life, my chance to get well and get on with my life.
Things did get better after the surgery, but not enough that I could get back to life very much. I was still struggling with Post-lyme Disease Syndrome and had so much pain every day. I was exhausted and still had to live with my parents. After a while, I wondered where my second chance was.
Years later, I met my husband and life changed from there. I still struggled, but made progress.
And then, this morning, this song just kept playing so loudly in my head, I couldn’t get back to sleep. So I looked up the lyrics and paid attention to it.
Just close your eyes
Reach for the moment, before it slips by
Here is your second chance
Take it and fly
I feel like the song is telling me what I already know – that my second chance is coming along now. It’s a lot later than I thought it would be. I’m 35 and have wanted to accomplish many dreams over the years – to be a concert pianist, to have a successful business, to be a mother to many children and lots of other dreams in my heart. But my path hasn’t allowed me to have all those things I dreamed of originally. And I’m ok with that now.
I have a beautiful life. I really do love. I’m so happy that I have a 3 year old, and a baby on the way. I feel blessed by my loving husband. I have wonderful friendships with people I cherish.
Still, there are dreams written on my heart that I haven’t been able to accomplish. And I’ve wondered how they would all come about. Do you ever feel like your life is meant to be something specific, and then life turns out way different than you expected? Then you wonder how reality (the life you’re living) will ever match what’s in your heart?
I’ve decided I’m like a butterfly. My cocoon of experience has been a time of development. But I haven’t always appreciated that time needed to develop into who I am now.
For so long I felt like I was stuck in a cacoon. I had so many hopes and dreams and ambitions, but every time I tried to move forward, I couldn’t break free.
I recently found out that a butterfly spends at least half it’s life in a cocoon, just changing and growing into something beautiful. Then it breaks out slowly and waits for it’s wings to dry. At last, it gains strength enough to fly.
When I think about that, I see my life in a new way, that the cocoon of life experience is actually a catalyst to incredible experiences. The cacoon is actually what’s making it possible for me to move forward! With this understanding, I’ve tried to be patient with the way my life unfolds and just let it become something beautiful in its own time.
At last, I feel like my second chance has come along. My health I worked so hard to get back is quite good now. It’s time for me to break out of my cocoon. My heart is telling me that, and I am so grateful for second chances – and third and fourth and fifth chances. My dreams are different from what they were when I was younger and I’m so excited to see where this journey will end up!
I’m a little nervous to move forward. I have lots of doubts about what I can offer others – if my blog will give inspiration to anyone, if I’ll be able to help more people on their journey to better health, if I’ll be able to give other’s hope to overcome their own challenges. But my heart keeps leading on, so I’m going with it.
Like the song says, I’ve just got to “close my eyes and reach for the moment, before it slips by. Here is your second chance
Take it and fly.”
Afterall, it’s not every day that a song from my past wakes me up at 4 am. I’m listening, and I’m ready for this second chance! I don’t know where it will all end up, but I know I’ve got to just go with my heart and try something I’m passionate about. For me right now, it’s about being a blogger and trying to help other people. I don’t know where it will all end up, but I’m trusting it will be an awesome place.
That’s my hope, at least, and as I think about it, second chances are often even better that those first chances. We’re stronger, we’re older, we’re more capable, we see things more clearly because of all that we’ve gone through in our lives. And those second chances are perfect for us, so much more perfect than the original dreams we thought we wanted.
Second chances come along, and it’s ok to dream again and hold onto them and trust them. Second chances work out, and we look back and see the amazing path that led us where we are. And the place we end up is so much more beautiful and full and incredible that where we were when we were younger.
I love second chances. I’m ready to take it, and fly.
Thanks for joining me on this journey! I hope you find something that inspires you here as you go for your dreams, too!
Have you ever gotten a second chance at something? How did it turn out? I’d love to hear about it!